


Longing

by Nonexistenz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Art, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Mistletoe, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonexistenz/pseuds/Nonexistenz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[SGSS 2015] Seems like Sam wasn't alone in feeling like this after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sadreel-trash (mind_and_malady)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mind_and_malady/gifts).



> Part of the Sadreel Secret Santa Exchange 2015  
> Prompts: Mistletoe & human!Gadreel  
>    
> Dear recipient, you wrote you would be okay with art or fic as a gift, but you would still prefer getting a fic… so, sadly I'm not much of a writer, honestly, writing and me is a complete disaster, reason why I usually stick to art only. Therefore, if the fic sucks? Sorry. Tried my best. Drew you something too that hopefully isn't as bad as me trying to write. Anyway, hope you like this at least a little bit!

It was more than surprising when Gadreel was resurrected, they had no idea how or why, him being without Grace and completely human was another thing that took some getting used to. Not that they had much of a choice in the matter. But they adjusted to it, like they always did.

There was a lot Gadreel had to learn, not just because he was no angel anymore, but due to his being locked up for such a long time he knew even less about human customs or anything about being an actual human in general, than the average angel did. And that was saying something, considering how little angels truly understood humans. Luckily, he was curious about everything and despite that it took Sam a while to wholeheartedly forgive and learn to trust Gadreel, he took this in stride. Explained everything he could, not only because no one else would, but because he found that he genuinely enjoyed doing so after a while. Spending time with Gadreel was nice, he honestly liked it. They did have a lot in common and it was no surprise that they became good friends in no time, or more like best friends, after Sam really got to know him. 

Slowly, he even started to see Gadreel in a new light. Not long after that, he was drowning in a tidal wave of feelings. As a matter of fact, the feelings deepened every day, one in particular, he felt it more and more, always there when he saw or even just thought about Gadreel - _longing._

He longed to have Gadreel close to him, by his side. To talk to him. To touch him. To just plain be with him. All the time.

Simply put, Sam was so head over heals in love with Gadreel he felt truly pathetic. 

Sure, Sam had been in love before, but none of them had ever made him feel like this, feeling so much and deeply for another person was downright scary and yet he didn't regret feeling like this. Even if it hurt sometimes, it felt nice too, Gadreel made him happy without even trying. 

He thought about Gadreel constantly, wishing for a lot of things and contemplated feelings that were probably not mutual. Who was he kidding? Of course it wasn't mutual. Why should it be? Just because he was obsessed with and pining over Gadreel didn't mean the other felt the same way. When he really thought about, he wasn't sure if he wanted to soil Gadreel anyway, it always came back down to the impurity of his soul and the demon blood in his system. Gadreel knew him, inside and out, knew everything about him. Why would he ever want him? Even worse, he thought he would probably scare him away for good if he ever told him what kind of thoughts, desires and unreachable fantasies Sam really had about him. And so, he kept his feelings to himself. 

Instead, he took every minute with Gadreel, every touch, every conversation, every single scrap he could get away with and enjoyed it thoroughly, seeing it as something to be treasured, committing everything to memory, keeping it close to his heart and mind. All the while, his longing was growing stronger and stronger every day, but he still kept stubbornly silent about it. He thought it was better that way. So what if sometimes parts of him ached with such deep felt longing that it overcame him completely? Still no reason to speak up and change anything. Why ruin a good thing? At least he had a bit of Gadreel, had their friendship, that was a thousand times better than nothing at all.

For a long time this was how it was and Sam was content enough with it. 

Then the holiday season came. This year, they wanted to give celebrating christmas a real try. As it transpired, christmas with an angel turned human in the bunker was less about tradition and celebrating, and way more about explaining every little detail of it. Explaining things like the tree, presents, decorations, the why and how and absolutely everything else. And not to forget, the tiny bit of foliage hanging from some doorways.

The last bit was explained while Sam and Gadreel were caught beneath the mistletoe. Gathering each and every last bit of courage he had with trembling nerves, Sam took his chance. In his mind the only one he would ever get to do this. In a way, Sam couldn't believe his luck and that he had a stupid piece of greens to thank for the presumably golden opportunity. 

Hence, after just a few words of clarification of that specific tradition, he unceremoniously took hold of Gadreel and did what he dreamed about for so long. It sure was one of the greatest things he had done in a very long time. 

Kissing Gadreel was everything and so much more than he ever imagined. It was addictive. He would never get enough of it. Precisely, he would never get enough of Gadreel. 

The kiss was soft, chaste even, yet it awoke a passion within him that was unrivaled by even the most lewd and desperate locking of lips. Finally having a taste of him, to feel his sweet lips pressed to his own, he never wanted to stop. Ever. 

This moment was undeniably heavenly. Especially when he felt Gadreel responding, tentatively, but the soft pressure was there. Sam's heart fluttered at this new sensation and he felt how Gadreel slowly and oh so unbearable gently pressed closer to him, never stopping the kiss at all, hesitant like if he did one wrong move it would put a stop to this right away. Which made Sam just hold him even tighter, dragging him as close as physics allowed him to, desperate to hold him until his thirst for him was sated but still holding back on letting his hands roam, out of fear of chasing him away. Gadreel might be kissing him back now, but that didn't mean that he would continue to do so if Sam overdid it. 

He forgot to worry or think about anything at all, when he felt Gadreel's hands at his sides, Sam's breath was hitching and he was smiling uncontrollably into the kiss when he felt how carefully and almost timid Gadreel started to hug him back. Shivers ran down his spine at the contact. Having Gadreel so near, pressed close, in his arms, heat radiating from his body, being held so tenderly in return, kissing him, Sam felt like he could melt right into the ground. It was just perfect. They fit together perfectly. 

It was so easy to imagine doing this with Gadreel for the rest of his life. He loved it, loved kissing him, loved having him so close, _he just loved Gadreel._

Once Sam broke the contact, reluctantly pulling away, drawing in shallow breaths, heart pounding, he pressed his forehead to Gadreel's for just one moment, savoring the feeling of being where he felt he belonged - being as close as humanly possible to Gadreel. At least as long as there were still clothes involved, which he wasn't even thinking about, this was more than enough, more than he thought he was ever going to get. Their breath mingled and was hot in the space between them, causing goosebumps to rise across the surface of Sam's skin, as his heartbeat picked up it's pace even more, even though by that point his pulse had accelerated worryingly already. When he finally dared to open his eyes moments later to watch the other's reaction, butterflies rioting in his gut, not saying a word, he noticed several things right away. 

First off, Gadreel was smiling softly at him, the adorable quirk of his lips lighting up not only his face but seemingly the entire world itself in Sam's eyes. It was breathtaking, he couldn't help being mesmerized and unconsciously returning that beautiful smile instantly. It was unfathomable how such a small thing could make him so damn _happy_ , but it did. 

The next thing he immediately noticed was how Gadreel stayed in his loose embrace, although Sam was giving him the chance to pull away, he didn't. Even better yet, he seemed to not want to let go of him either, seemed to want to stay in close proximity to Sam, which gave him such a thrill and a wave of emotions, it was ridiculous. 

But best of all, was the look in his eyes. Gadreel was looking at him as if he was precious, or something to be cherished, notably he saw the _longing_ in Gadreel's eyes, the same longing that he always felt himself, reflected right back at him. That was when Sam realized that maybe he wasn't alone in feeling like this after all.

 

[](http://imgur.com/Kkakn35)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking this out!
> 
> Tumblr art link will be added as soon as the Secret Santa part of the exchange is over.


End file.
